Reflecting on Hawaii

Saturday, 17 Jul 2004 | Travel

While I was driving to work yesterday, I was listening to a Hawaiian CD I bought on my trip.

I had been feeling a little down because my anniversary trip to Apple Farm was cancelled and having to go to Hawaii to get my dad after his heart attack was very emotionally and physically grueling. I had been so happy to see Oahu for the first time in my life, but it was bittersweet because I had very little time to see things.

But then, after some reflection, I realized how blessed I was to go to Hawaii and be there for my father during his difficult time. I had the privilege to be the sole person to help him. It was a little way I could pay him back for all the ways he had been such a great father to me. Of course, I can never repay him fully. I look back at the time I spent with him with fondness and am sure I will cherish that short time I enjoyed exploring Hawaii with him.

I also had a chance to think about my mom who passed away earlier this year. I used to feel bad for myself because she would be very critical of me. But now I realize that it was because she wanted me to be the best person I could be. I remember all the loving things she did to show her caring for me: cooking food, showing concern for my long commute, buying me thoughtful gifts, and on and on. I am so glad that she became a Christian toward the end of her life. She showed me more affection in the last few years than ever before. She would always hug me and she developed a pattern of telling me "I love you all the time." whenever she saw or talked to me. I told her this very thing many times when I visited her at the hospital. I was hopeful that she could hear me in her comatose state even if she couldn't respond. Whether or not, I wanted to express that to my mother. I miss her very much every day, as does Toni.

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